2-12-96
Up early. Watched Jupiter rise, bright in the clear winter sky.
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I had already moved into the atelier in Passaic and was working on an oils copy of a painting by Correggio. The planet Jupiter rose early in the morning sky. I viewed this as a sign of good fortune, despite my declining enthusiasm. The movement of the planets and the recognition of the constellations are a pastime of mine. As a child, I would camp out of the house in the little open gravel pit and view the stars until I drifted off to sleep. The smoke-like nature of Jupiter (Jupiter approached Io as a cloud) echoed my feelings about myself; I was turning into smoke, dissolving my identity to rebuild my fractured self as a whole person. The erotic drive, the Freudian libido, seemed to be something I could recognize as my own; not given to me from without but generated by my own being from within. |
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