3-26-96
When I had nothing to lose I was bold. This was unheroic. A true hero has much to lose in his wager.
I’ve decided to go to Barbara. Steve and I are going to St. Louis to present our journal to a convention of science teachers. Barbara has offered us a room to reduce the costs of this trip. While I feel exuberant about seeing Barbara again and deepening our bond, I also have a paradoxical feeling of shame. I have failed; failed in my marriage to Marianne. Having been through a divorce, I know that such problems require both parties. Each must share part of the blame for such problems. But I seem to want to put all of the blame upon my shoulders. What may seem like a heroic decision is just a fait accompli. You can always spot the heroes. They are the ones running into the fire.
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